Court’s In Session: Richard Edwards

Its off to court we go?
Oh! No!
Yes, it’s to court we go?
You are not true!
Are you true!

A quart of what?
A quart of oil is this,
Or gas is that?
No, not a quart,

You are courting?
No I have not come a courting,
What is this court?
Where lawyers try cases,
That is the place.

Why are you blue?
I am not,
Have a shot?
Why not?
What a rot?

Yes, we go?
Woe. Woe’s me!
Can’t you see?
I can’t see?
Get your glasses?

Hold your ass,
Me lass,
Can’t you see?
What do you see?

Boo. Hoo
Boo Hoo?
Why boo hoo?
Yes, Boo Hoo.

I will put you in stew,
What’s the brew?
A stew is what do I do?
What a rue,
What stew?

You are a stew?
What a do?
Boo Hoo?
Hair due?
What a hair do?

No! Not a hair doo?
No, A hairdo?
Are you true?
To you?
Boo Hoo,
Have you a clue?
Not a clue?
What about you?
I am true?

Am too?
Boo Hoo?
Not true,
What are you putting in a stew?
A stew for you.

How do you do?
There’s only one of me, not including you,
Tis true,
Not two,
That is why you are in a stew.

I am not is a stew.
Are too,
There is a storm a brewing,
Who are you cooing?
The brew is true.

What do you think,
I am not a mink,
Don’t raise a stink,
In you slink.
You look like you need a mink.

I am not a fink,
Is that what you think?
Are you true,
Ah are you true,
Why are you blue?

I am not blue,
Is true
Why are you turning blue
Are not?
You are too, turning blue.

You are too, I see the cue?
I don’t see the cue,
You will rue,
I will rue, the stew,
Do you?

That is true
Don’t have a clue?
Not a clue?
So what do I do?
Eat the stew?

It’s for you?
Eat the stew,
I won’t eat the stew?
How do I do?

I won’t marry you
Don’t have a bird,
Did you see my bird,
My shuttlecock,
No I have not seen your bird.

Are you sure,
I am kind sir,
Where is the fur?
You don’t purr,
Are you sure.

You are surefooted
Won’t slip.
You are as quick as a whip?
You are hip?
What do you think of it?

I am.
What a man?
Pretty bird,
You are pure dynamite,
I don’t take you slightly.

You are might slim,
Where’s the jungle gym,
I am with him?
Say not a word?
You are absurd.

Did you see my bird
Say not word?
I am true? Am I not?
True to you?
You are?

Why have we met in a bar?
It will not mar you?
You should have had a car?
Don’t drive a car?
I see a scar.

If you are to drive a car?
My wife?
That is my life,
Not my wife,
Not on your life.

Won’t you try the stew?
It’s for you?
How do I do?
I won’t marry you.

Boo hoo?
There is to many things to do?
Is that why you are blue?
Am not?
Are too, you?

Are not? Boo hoo!
What do you mean?
Quit being obscene
What do you mean I am being obscene,
Quit making scene?

Look at your bean?
My aren’t you keen?
What scene,
You have been seen?
When was I seen.

Now, your being more?
What about you? You’re being mean?
Not you?
You’re obscene?
I am wearing clothes?

You wish to compose,
Are you wearing hose?
No. I am not?
Where are your clothes
Goodness knows.

Where are you clothes.
I am wearing rose,
I thought, so,
Its leaves are transparent?
That is pretty apparent.

Were you heaven sent?
Is it apparent?
So, you see,
What you are looking at is truly me,
You are nude.

Don’t you see,
you are a prude,
I see?
What doth thou see?
You cut to the crude.

You are lewd,
Tis true
You are too keen?
No! not you
Are, too.

What is it you do?
I wish to woo?
You do?
Wish to woo me, says you.

See as I take off the hose,
Goodness knows,
Put on your hose,
Mind your nose
You are nosy.

See I was true,
My boy in blue, I wish to woo,
That is, true,
When you were new,
That is not true.

When were you born?
I don’t have a horn,
What have you done amid the scorn?
But you were born
Why are you forlorn. With that knife and fork?

What will you do?
Put you in the stew?
Boo hoo?
You are being rude.
Tis true, why are you blue and in a stew.

Are you?
I am not food?
Now, your being rude.
You are also crude.
From me to you?

Tis true,
Judge I want to place an order?
Order what?
Look at your gut?
Can you keep out of the rut.

I have seen your butt
I am not a nut,
Did you see the squirrels,
They have my heart in a whirl.

She’s quite a girl
That squirrel is quite the girl
Did you not say?
You want it plural?
No kind sir.

I concur
Are you sure?
Won’t you wear a skirt?
I concur
You are demur.

That you are nuttier than a squirrel
You do have a furlough,
Can’t you blow
I not know,
The stocks will flow.

Are you in a frock,
I am not.
Well, that was quite a block
Put a sock in it.
You’re in it.

What a sin?
I thought we would win,
Look at your shin.
Where have you been?
To see the queen?

Were you on a team
Dog team
What a dream
I wish to court you?
Have you sucked up the flue.

Judge, I do?
Can I wed you,
In court,
You wish to court me,
We are parking in the dark.

What a lark?
Sitting here in the dark?
Its your mark?
Don’t bark.

You are a stark raving mad?
What is the fad?
I am married dad? She says to me dad.
Why are you sad?
Odour in the court?

You are not wearing shorts?
I am wearing my briefs?
Don’t be discrete?
You are kind of neat?
My you are the heat?

You’re kind of sweet?
But I am the heat?
Don’t cheat?
I don’t cheat?
You’re cheap?

Your prices are too steep?
Take a leap
You reap what you sow,
I need a needle and thread?
To sew?

I don’t know?
I know, you can sow?
Do you have a beau
Do you?

It is what I am?
To you?
Haven’t a clue, are you
Order in the court?
Why Cavort.

There is a short?
What is the short?
Is it negative, or positive?
I don’t give?
Woe’s me.

Why are you blue?
The boys in blue are here too?
Is why I am blue,
You can not?
Can too?

We bought the can do?
The stew is you?
Why for I have put it away for you?
The boys are telling me? You are in court?
Do you have it cut too short?

I see your ears?
You see my rear?
I fear, I see your ears?
What do you mean? My rear? Is here.
In briefs.

The attorney filed my briefs,
You haven’t a leaf,
I am not a thief,
You arrive like a thief in the night?
You are my wife.

Not my chief?
I will be brief, you stole
I stole,
A stole
That is not true,

I have not a stole
Why are you blue?
Because of you?
The blues have cited me,
You are in flight,

Through the night?
Its not right?
You have been a blight,
Good night,
Put it right.

It is not a sight,
Nor is it a slight,
Do not put up a fight
You are a delight?
Gotta sight?

Good night.
Put it right?
Don’t fight?
I said good night?
You are not bright?

Turn off the light?
Would you go to sleep?
Don’t make a peep?
I want sleep?
Bah Bah. You are a sheep?

My that’s deep?
Can’t you sleep?
Here are the sheep? You have made a peep?
Now can I sleep.
You creep?

I am a creep!
Can’t you keep?
The lid on?
You are the spawn?
Put a lid on?

What have you done?
Having fun?
Your a bum,
Don’t be dumb

Hold out your thumb
Mom what’s that?
Keep your hat on?
I am going to the moon?
So soon?

They say a monsoon
Will come.
Put away your broom?
It’s as quiet as a home
You have been scored on.

My son?
What have you done?
I just began,
Look at your cans
My can’s you are the man?

I am?
Am I?
What are you a man
Or louse,
I think I see a mouse?