How To Ruin Someone’s Day: Gerald Herron

A friend of mine gave me a book,
How to Nourish the Inner Martyr in Me.
Which I opened with cat-like curiosity;

And as I read through the passages,
I came across this one,
“How to Ruin Someone’s Day”.
And I thought to myself,
that sounds like fun!
Who will be my prey?

How about May?
No, she’s too uptight,
always telling me to go fly a kite;

How about June?
No, I phone her up at work
wanting to share a poem or two,
but she’s always asking me,
what’s wrong with you?

How about Stan?
No, I don’t want him thinking,
I’m that kind of man!

And the rest, as far as I can see,
would probably press charges against me.

So, I walked along, the sun shone,
like a light bulb going on,
and whether it be a stroke of good fortune,
or a second glance from lady luck,
I thought,
how about the one
that provided me with the book!

Though she’s sixty-five,
I can’t let that break my stride.
For last time we met,
she greeted me with a kiss on each cheek,
and if or when she does it again,
I’m going to say, let’s stop playing games,
how about some tongue?