Learning to Cry: Pamela Wain

I was not allowed to cry
As if life passed me by
I was taught at a very young age
To cry would send my father to rage

When I always heard the warn
I’ll take you out behind the barn
I’ll give you something to cry about
So I would not cry, I could only pout

Everything that happened to me
There was no way I could get free
And even as my life passed by
Still I was not allowed to cry

I stuffed my feelings down inside
That was my only way to hide
And if I ever let them out
I would get in trouble there is no doubt

As I am getting on in years
I have let myself, shed some tears
All my crying is so real
As I learn how to feel

I am afraid that if I start
I will not stop, it is from the heart
The first time that I did cry
I felt alone and wished to die

The reason that I wished to die
Is because my life is passing by
To shed a tear, I always fear
There is trouble lurking near

As I go along my journey
My will to cry will grow with me
I will learn to cry and let it out
All that is stuffed will come about

At times I feel that I must be strong
I cannot cry because it feels wrong
I wear a mask to hide the pain
When the mask is off, it will rain

I do not cry too easily
But when I do, people see
The pain that I have felt inside
Will come about, and I won’t hide

I do not want to feel alone
I shiver all the way to the bone
As the years pass me by
I will not allow myself to cry

To cry, to feel, must be bad
I have learned, it’s not so bad
And as I grow and I get well
I can cry and it won’t mean hell

Now that I know I can
Crying will not be a ban
I will let the tears flow and flow
The more I learn, the more I grow