To the Glory of God
To Gwyneth with Love
A birthday poem
James Adamson
I can feel subtle that makes me extreme
As if it were working for me
I let it take me out further and I swim with it
Then I can find its power to be released from it
It’s just something I need
To know it’s there
So I can live with life
To know the shoreline of my salvation
Swimming parallel to it because it can’t be acquainted with purpose
It only lives in one place to avoid living
To find its truth and reality
And be of it and with it
I will never be free of it
I will only offer what I see in contrast to it
My very being does this
I would always know of the power I see because I am of it even if it weren’t there
The only difference between its simple existence and its anger
is its intention that exists just because it exists
My love and life would always need to know the substance of death
Light and time for eternity knows thee dark
True power turns away from its personification
The subtlety of being pulled under tells us of a power that is the essence of striving
A striving that is the means of essence
I can feel something that is a spider web attenuated for millions of miles
As if it believes distance proves something
When I continue to live and become more acquainted with its weakness
And its only seduction
That it’s always there
In response to it I fight for the love of my life which is a greater power that I ever expected
Family and friends and what brings me beyond them
My true love who is almost made of the subtle undertow
The way it was my first true knowledge of its existence and to fight it
To hold onto her, the fight versus the laziness of a simple current
Except that water would set it free of its darkness
Where it only lives because it can
Spider webs are symbols of the universe
And they do not hold on just to tell us the miles of life are useless
I held onto to life almost by coincidence
Then I knew seduction
As if I had known love all along
When I found her I saw why I lived
I can feel the undertow this very moment even though I remember a slight temptation to fight it by
giving in to it to prove my power over it
And death is to not feel it
To not see what death is
An unrelenting request for anyone to give up
I work myself free of something that touches me on the shoulder perpetually
I can’t quite laugh at its weakness
I can’t quite hate someone who is no one
I can’t fight someone who is not there
What I do is none of these things
What I do is to live as if to step away from a mirror that turns function into an always breaking thread
From a vanity that I can beat myself
That I can prove that something is weak when all it ever had was the implication of time
When knowing of it for the first time was the power of its time;
Was the power of knowing I couldn’t love it because it wasn’t really there
As long as I turn away from it
And turn to who I am
Because then I didn’t create myself
So all of us live on the same terms
And what results is the power between people that she made me see
The same moment I saw her
The same moment she made me live for life
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