I watched you for as long as I could through the window,
Cranked my neck back until you were a speck,
I remember thinking, “I’m way too young to leave the nest.”
My heart had never felt so heavy in my chest.
My body became just as restless as my mind.
All my life it’d been only you keeping me between the lines
There was constant chatter on the latest coach heading East.
I had my entire life in the carry on I had with me.
I sat hunched over, holding my head in my seat.
It was hard to believe that I was a reject at seventeen.
Being without love made my life lack meaning.
I bit my tongue the whole way, while my heart was screaming.
“Please let me be dreaming.”
“Tell me my gut feelings are being misleading.”
This was a harsh way of teaching;
You are an engine fueled by deceiving.
Everything familiar fell flat, so fast.
I couldn’t grasp the concept of what a family is good for after that.