Dreams cut a swath through my consciousness.
Living in relief of my thoughts, my obsessions, and my fragile impressions.
Love blooms like a cactus in the desert.
Prickly but soft in the center.
Those nightmares that stop my soul in its tracks.
Left so exposed to the highs and lows.
The heat and the cold.
The paralysis induced by paranoia.
A vision unfolds that traps my heart and I can’t look away.
This is why I’m afraid.
A complex tangle of reasons.
I left and I stayed.
Wake in a cold sweat.
How can my imagination catch fire like this?
I want to avoid the pain of facing my fantasies.
Letting the healing flow through me.
And the sediment sinking to the bottom of the river,
That is my existence;
Settlings, murky and muddy.
This is no crystal clear water, cold as death.
The current drags me under.
So many terrors can haunt you and overwhelm you.
I am still gasping for breath, sweet breath.
Wanting the comfort of another to dispel the dread.
I want to take in the sun while I drown in my misery.
Waking to an aura of light.
Fighting the panic.
I resurface, baptized in hope.
Clutching at the normal.
The rhythm of breathing brings me back to myself.
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