Self-hatred: By Mary Mikawoz

Dislike and disbelief
Unwelcoming thoughts
Churning Inside
Seeping out sometimes
Towards the outside world
Exposing my inner being
The thinness of honour
And self-regard

Another go at trying self-love
Changing perspectives
From animation to animosity
Feeling for the most sincere dream
Not realizing it is a delusion
Trying for the best
But realizing all the barriers to
An engaging life to live

With nothing left for me
Not knowing what to do
Feeling hopeless and helpless
In Darkened Crevices
Of Spidery filaments of webs
Torturing the recesses of my mind
Trying to get out
Of this Conjuring Corner of Fabricated Love

In a state of self-delusion
And thinking of so-called normalcy
Whatever that may be
Not existing in society or in public
A range of possible actions
Thoughts and Beliefs
Pictured through the lens of oneness
And clarity and focus of a spy

Is an emotion that I feel
Almost all the time I breathe
Not appreciating who I have become
Or Where I have been
Accomplishments set aside
For recrimination of bad things
We have done and not done
Better to be wiser than foolhardy
And appreciate the good that is left